Paranormal vs. Godly intuition

I talked with a friend the other day about dreams, their meanings, my questions about what they mean, how we come to the conclusion of their meaning.  I struggle with some of the interpretations… I’m a Christian, I believe in God-not the paranormal, psychic stuff.  By no means do I think that some “man” can write up a bunch of dream meanings, throw them on the internet, and they are true….

That being said, yes… I do look at some of these sites, and try to make sense of it all. I believe God gives me dreams, and I believe I get them for a greater purpose. I believe they have significant meaning…however—there are times I wonder if  these sites and meanings are a distraction from God. Without giving the devil too much credit , because he doesn’t actually deserve ANY….he CAN hold some power in your life, if you LET him…I wonder if he is messing with me sometimes when I look up dream meanings and they actually make sense. Almost always if I check a meaning it correlates somehow with something going on in my life.

Example: just talking about these thoughts with my friend the other day….the same thoughts I just shared, like “Is it God, is it the devil….” Yada yada….I have a dream last night- I was riding bike down our road and a cat walked past me. I kind of hissed at it (which is weird)…that was that. On my way back home I looked down this side road and it was coming toward me again…this time it wasn’t a cat it was a cougar. (Me and my dreams of things changing into other things !?!?). So this cougar now hisses at me and follows me home trying to chomp at me the whole way there. I keep having to kind of push my bike at it to shoo it off. I finally make it up our half mile long driveway, cougar still trying to gnaw at me…and I can’t get into my house. Then I woke up….

ok…so….of course I take key things from my dream….cat and cougar. Look them up, what do they mean? To dream of a cat means many things, but a piece of what applies to me here may be….fear or frustration with things not going as planned…it also says fear in using “psychic” abilities (which I don’t believe in) or believing your intuition (which I DO believe I have). A cat clawing at you is telling you to trust your intuition…to see a cougar signifies power,  grace, raw emotion or danger.  Both things though, deal with intuition.

I just find it interesting that as I question the “paranormal” aspects of my dreaming, I have a dream that contains things that signify trusting my intuition….hmmmm?



“I need longer teeth” dream…(?!?)

Can you say I’ve been thinking WAAAAYYY too much about my stinkin teeth lately? This will be short and sweet…. My seemingly 20 second dream-

My dentist called me to tell me something came up and they needed to make my teeth longer… (?ok?) He said I had to go to Belgium to have this procedure done…I got there and the dentist told me my estimate was $70 billion dollars… To make my teeth longer…

I cried… Asked him if he had a payment plan… He said “No, but I pity you so I will do it for $7000.”

funny thing- my “Belgian” dentist looked exactly like Mohamed Habib(Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star-Yolanda Fosters ex husband ) Bahaha! No wonder he gave me a deal … He’s a GAJILLIONAIRE!

Honestly, just starting this new teeth journey is gonna kill me….10 days ago I had work done on two lower teeth and I am SOOOO sick of pudding, yogurt and soup that I could puke! I just want a Tombstone Pepperoni pizza-but no, I can’t chew anything!  I mean it was a great way to lose 7 lbs in a hot second…. But honestly right now I’d rather be fat eating my delish pizza!

What on earth am I gonna do when I get all my uppers pulled? I’m such a big baby!

It’s a classic case of too much time on my hands and too much worry on the brain!  Can I fast forward a few years and just be done?

At any rate …Wisconsin is heading to the Final Four in NCAA!  👍Too bad I didn’t pick them on my bracket 👎


“Dad” dreams

Disturbing dreams. Dreams of my biological dad. Meeting with him….getting lots of names . Lots of distinct things. I get a name of a kid I went to high school with…. He was always in trouble.  Him and another kid, his cousin…. Always in trouble. I start thinking, one of these kids, his mom, is married to my biological dad. Would that make him a stepbrother? Yuck!

All of these names, him, his mom, my dad. In my dream I get all these names, and it leads me to a criminal website. From this website it tells me that my biological dad is living in a nearby area. Sad that I would have to keep track of him through a criminal website.

Im  having these dreams almost every single night, and they seem to be a continuation of one another. In one dream I send my stepdad a card telling him that I am thankful that he stepped up as a father figure in my life when my biological dad didn’t. I tell him that I know I didn’t make life easy for him but I appreciate what he did and life’s too short and uncertain to not let him know that. My stepdad and I did not have a great relationship. I played the tough card my whole life thinking just because my real dad ditched me didn’t mean I needed anyone else to take his place.

Continuing on, comes a dream of me meeting with my biological dad for closure. In my dream I remember feeling strongly that I needed to share a few things with him. Things like me wanting him to know that I have no happy memories of him… Things that he missed out on like walking me down the aisle when I got married… He never saw my kids…just being there… He missed out….not me…. Things like I’ve never called anybody “dad” in my life.

My oldest memory of him was when I was nine years old having to walk alone into the beer tent at a fairgrounds to see the “dad” that was too lazy to come out and see me. My next memory was at age 18 at the races seeing him, talking to him and not being very impressed. Years passed and again I seem to run into him more than ever. At gas stations, grocery stores, grocery aisles, parking lots. I remember distinctly making eye contact with him thinking that maybe he’d remember who I was or recognize me or say something… Maybe he would feel bad. Just looking for some reaction, but nothing as if he was a stranger. Why would I expect anything though after all, he signed off his rights.

So why, years later would I feel such a strong need to meet with him to cut the ties. Secretly I wonder if he’s ever had any regrets about his choices.

The path he’s chosen in his life has not been a good one, and for that alone I don’t want him near me or my family. The people that he surrounds himself with are trouble and that’s one reason why I’m scared to connect.

For the record, I do not want a relationship with him… I want to cut ties completely…for good. How do you get complete closure though and stay completely anonymous…non traceable?

My dreams continue, same dreams every time but with add-ons. This particular night I get a dream that tells me to go to Are you kidding me? Is there really a website called The answer to that is yes, yes there is and it was like a family reunion when I got there.

In the midst of these dreams I have a dream about my boss bringing a bear cub for a pet to where we live. The thing chased me every time I got near it. I asked my bosses wife if we had to keep it and she just said absolutely not…. My other boss just kept telling me “it will be fiiiiiinnnneee!” Waving his arm in the air like it was just no big deal. It will be fine kept ringing through.

Then in the midst of these dreams once again, I have a dream that I am cleaning their house and there are mice running all over the rafters. I am scared to death of mice but my boss picks two of these mice up and throws them at my feet. I close my eyes and scream but nothing would come out of my mouth but air. My boss once again waves his hands and tells me it will be fine. I wake up and can hardly breathe like I’m having a panic attack.

I’ve said before I don’t put much significance on some of these dream interpretation meanings… But I decided to look up what the bear significance could mean and what the mice significance could mean. The bear meant I could be dealing with anger within myself or it is triggering a fear that I am dealing with. The mice said I’ve been spending too much time dealing with insignificant matters. Both very interesting and make sense to me. I’m not sure what part my boss had in it other then him telling me it will be fine. I think the part I was supposed to take from that was the ” it will be fine”part.

Feeling a need for closure but not sure how to make that happen. Everyone around me tells me it’s gonna be BAD news if I meet up with my biological dad. Well how the heck am I supposed to get done with this? For petes sake I don’t even wanna sleep anymore…my mind can’t take these dreams anymore.

Now back to the part of my dream where I bought my stepdad a card thanking him for stepping up…. As you could imagine, Father’s Day was coming up. Just so you know every year, I spend time picking a Father’s Day card out for him that is just a simple happy Father’s Day card… None of this mushy “oh we’ve had such a perfect life” crap…. Just a simple happy Father’s Day card, because that’s what you’re supposed to do.

So this year, I am drawn to a deeper card… One that actually says dad on it. I sit down at the table and start writing. I didn’t seal the envelope though. I left it sitting on the table for a few days. In my mind I guess I thought I didn’t really have to send it out yet. Maybe I didn’t have to send it at all. Maybe I could just go buy a generic card and send that. So I didn’t put a stamp on it. Every day I walked past the table I looked at that card. So today I decided to put a stamp on it. That was my next step in getting it to my mailbox.

The card finally made its way to the mailbox. A few hours later when we passed the mailbox the flag was still up. I thought to myself that I could probably still take that card out and replace it with a generic one. See these are the mind games that I played with myself… All over a Father’s Day card. When I went back down later the flag was down so I knew that the card had gone. Well now I just wait and see.

I wasn’t expecting any grand gesture from my stepdad. But I will tell you, the day that that card left my mailbox…. My dreams of my biological dad stopped… They completely stopped. To this day I have not had another. My closure came from letting my biological dad go and giving credit where credit was due to my stepdad.

Still amazed at how the brain can be so complex and reveal such amazing things to us if we only just quiet ourselves….and listen.


“Name” dreams…

My nights….my sub-conscience….my dreams…. I have been having some really interesting dreams where I am actually getting people’s NAMES….people I don’t know. Premonition type dreams. At first I thought, “Well…maybe these people don’t even exist…maybe it’s just a strange name that I just dreamt about.” But no, it’s real people.

The first one was about a girl, whose name will not be shared due to privacy reasons. I had a dream that my son called me and said that he wanted me to know that I might be hearing something soon and he wanted me to hear it from him first. He said that this girl, let’s call her “Sally” ( just so I don’t have to keep referring to her as “this girl”) anyway, he said Sally  called the cops and is saying that it was rape. I said “What? Sally who?” “Sally Smith”.  He continued to say he just wanted me to know that it was definitely NOT rape , that she was NOT raped.

I did not get the feeling at all, that my son had anything to do with this… But he was just telling me about this girl that called the cops. At this point, I wasn’t sure if maybe he was at a party or something or saw something happen to her, maybe something by a boy that was there, I’m not sure. I think he was calling to let me know because he was going to be called in as a witness or something. Regardless, that was pretty much the dream. Just a fragment. Weird.

So I call my son in the morning and ask him if he knows anyone named “Sally Smith” . He says “yeah, why” Oh mylanta!!!!!! So I tell him about the dream. He kind of laughed because he knows I have off the wall dreams. He said “Mom, I wouldn’t touch that girl with a 10 foot pole!” I didn’t think it had anything to do with him….just maybe a warning…Apparently this girl is a friend of his ex-girlfriend. I still don’t know what the meaning of the dream was. I basically told my son to stay away from her…don’t go to any parties where she might be….

Why would I get that name? A REAL person….who goes to a high school in that area…..and someone my son knows of….and then how do you call someone and say “hey…I had a dream about you getting raped….so just be careful…k?” Seriously…..


This next one is really short… Not much meaning, but yet still another name dream. I call my girlfriend and tell her I had a dream about a mutual friend of ours…her boyfriend. I’ve never met her boyfriend or heard his name but I had a dream about his name. So I told her the name…and that was his name… Weird. Significance? Who knows.


This last one is kinda….I don’t know….some may say creepy, but was very real….

I used to work with a girl at a salon and a few years passed and she got out of the hair business and started working at a Kwik Trip where my daughter worked. Well I had a dream one night that she was pregnant. However when the baby was born there was something wrong with her eyes.  I wake up and call my daughter and ask if this girl was pregnant. She said no. Okay… Just a dream….

About two hours later my daughter calls me and tells me that this girl just brought in an ultrasound picture…that she is pregnant…..ohhhkayyyyy….now what? How do you say “oh yeah, by the way I KNEW you were pregnant….I had a dream about it…oh and also…there’s gonna be something wrong with its eyes.”

I decide to just let things be, and try to forget about it. It was probably nothing.

Lots of months pass and I notice on Facebook that she has had the baby, a baby girl, and she is now about two months old. My dream pops back into my head. I have to message her and touch base, see how everything’s going. So I message her, just small talk….saw you had the baby, how are things going, yada yada yada…..

She replies that things are going pretty well, her boy is adjusting well to the new baby but they have been so busy doing so much doctoring because the baby has something wrong with her eyes and they just can’t put a finger in what’s wrong with her.

HO-LEE BALLS!  Well now I HAVE to say something….but how?  So I just tell her my dream. She immediately says she wants me to meet with her and see the baby and pray for the baby. As  things would work out this was all happening on a Monday the night we met at a friends house for bible study. I told her to bring the baby to the house that night and we would pray for the baby.

She said the baby wouldn’t focus…you know how when they hear your voice they follow it…when you hold a finger in front of them and move it back and forth they follow it. She wasn’t doing that. She wasn’t focusing, and she said her eyes had kind of a foggy glossed over appearance like there was a film on them or something. They weren’t bright.

She got to the house and I picked that baby up. I said her name and that baby looked right at me….with the most crystal clear, bright eyes I’ve seen. Her mom just stared at me and told me she has NEVER done that. I took my finger and trailed it in front if her going back and forth, and she followed it.  Amazed!

She had a dr appt that following week at a specialist. She said she was just going to take her in to make sure everything was ok. She got there and they couldn’t figure out why she was even there because there was nothing wrong with her eyes. Completely focused…no foggy film…..absolutely amazed!

Why I have been given these dreams I don’t know. This is just a drop in the bucket. I have many, many premonition type dreams. Some are really cool, some are really scary, some are real eye openers.

A lady once told me that dreams are Gods way of speaking to me because when I’m sleeping is the only time I quiet myself enough to listen to Him….so she told me to pay attention…because dreams you remember have significance. So I write down my dreams now and I look back over them now and again to see what’s happened or what’s been significant. Usually spot on. Something usually makes sense.

I will say though, that some nights I’m just like ” don’t let me sleep tonight because I can’t take one more dream….” It can get exhausting.  But then I think that my dreams are part of a greater plan. Not everything has to make sense in my dreams, but the parts that do make me responsible to try to do something about them. So that’s what I do… I sleep, I dream, I try to save the world! Haha


Raising daughters


I find myself constantly thinking about my kids. I think about how fortunate I’ve been to be able to spend as much time with them as I did. And now in a completely different season of all of our lives I find it totally enjoyable.

When my husband and I were first married, his dad used to call him every single night after supper. I never could figure out why they needed to talk to each other every night, when they worked together all day. Now it completely makes sense! I can’t go a day without talking to my daughter. (I really can’t go a day without talking to my son either, but he’s a guy and he doesn’t put as much importance on that as I do)  now I think it is HER husband that comes home every day and says “WHYYYY do you have to talk to your mom…?”

I think back to a time in my life when I decided to try to work outside of the home. I decided to take a part-time job, because the “world” got to me. The “world” told me I needed more, therefore I better get a job so I could have more “stuff”. This job involved me having to go to Madison for training for 5 days, which meant that my husband now was in charge of doing my daughters hair while I was gone. I was a cosmetologist by trade, so that was always my job. I would call to check in and see how things were going, and one day my daughter filled me in on how her dad was doing with her hair. “MOM! you need to come home NOW! Dad used the vacuum cleaner on my hair to make a ponytail, and I had to have Kelsey fix it on the bus!” Really, only a dad would come up with something like that! He needs to stick to fixing things, and we will stick to what we do best…. Being girly….fixing our hair, polishing our nails…


It’s been such a wild ride raising this girl! Strong-willed is an understatement! However, it is that strong will that made her the amazing woman she is today . We did our best to raise her with the knowledge that she deserves nothing but the very best… Her dad told her every day that she was a princess… And we told her never settle for anything less! When she would be having a bad day it didn’t take long for her dad to realize all he needed to do was bring her home some flowers and a container of Betty Crocker cream cheese frosting. That was something special between them, and it really set the stage for any man that would come into her life. Every girl wants to feel like she’s special, and although no man can ever take her dads place, we were absolutely certain that the man we had been praying for would come and sweep her off her feet.

You know, you can beat yourself up all day long thinking that you have really messed up, could have done better…. And it wasn’t until very recently, that I realized it’s time to give ourselves a pat on the back… When we thought we were screwing up so bad, we realized we raised one amazing daughter! She has even taught me a few things along the way.


I think she has gotten that man that totally fits the bill above…^… And I trust that we raised our son just as well, and the woman we’ve been praying for to come into his life, will reap the same benefits! Life is good! Celebrate your kids today! Life’s short…make every day count!


My very own bracket challenge

So every year I print off a bracket sheet and pick my teams for the NCAA championship games. Don’t let me fool you, I don’t know a thing about basketball or the teams!

This used to be something that my son Austin and I did every year. He would go on and on, telling me why this team was better than that, why this player was better than the other, how each one of the teams did throughout the year, and what was going to make them win.

Well this year, I’m on my own and didn’t have anybody to cheat off of. So I did what I do best, I just picked the teams because I like their name.

I don’t recommend doing that, because so far out of 17, I only have five correct. I was even going to go so far as to think I could sign up for Warren Buffett’s challenge where if you get a 100% correct bracket you win $1 billion.

Yeah, that ain’t happening. You know, I just thought, “Maybe, just maybe, I might have a shot at this! How hard can it be to have a perfect bracket?”

I just didn’t pick teams like Syracuse, because honestly, I just don’t like that word and how it sounds. I remember last year seeing Villanova making it through a lot of games so I kinda cheated there and picked them, plus it’s kind of a cool name. You can assume, that big names like Duke are going to go far, but not today. So that screwed up the rest of my bracket. But it’s okay I went through and changed it, even though I know you’re not supposed to do that, I make my own rules.

I chose Gonzaga to win the entire thing. Not because of their skills, because I think that name is really awesome! GONZAGA, like they’re gonna take the whoooooole gonzaga!

That’s my story… We’ll see how it plays out!.


Hair color & hydrocodone don’t mix

Well, I decided that Ive had enough with my hair. I have been seeing far to many greys poking out… And am just in a mood for a little more blonde. Just a little. Something brighter… Something not so—-gross .

Let me just preface this with the fact that for the past 25 years I have carried a cosmetology license. About a year ago I let my license go because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I would never use it again. After all, we hit the lottery with this new job Mark got, and now…I’m retired. Haha

Well…. Let’s just say that you should NEVER color your hair on a whim and certainly not when you are as disgusted as I was. We have always told our kids that if they want something to give it some time and if they still want it to go for it.  I did not follow that advice. 

I wanted to be blonde again.. Not whole head bleach blonde, just  like I said earlier, a little brightening.  So I’m pulling my hair through a cap… Every other hole should be good…. Well, that doesn’t really look like enough and if I’m doing this I might as well do it. Okay I will pull through every hole, but just little pieces . Hmmm… Maybe just a bit more… Every time I do this I always wish I had a bit more on top… So just a bit more . I look at it once it is all pulled through and think “holy balls that is a LOT of hair” okay, take the cap off and start over. Every…other…hole….

Til once again,  the top, I feel, needs just a bit more.  K, that’s good hurry up and put the color on before you change your mind.

I put the color on and its taking FOREVER… once again knowing better I am completely over this process and just rinse it. Close enough. (Almost regretting telling you I had a license to do this…..)

Well, you guessed it! Waaayyyyyy too much! Way! Ugh! Like that’s not bad enough but I have a dentist appt in the morning and live in the middle of absolutely no where which means there is not a CHANCE I’m fixing this tonight! Lovely

I go to my appt and end up having a lot more work done than I was counting on but that will NOT stop me from picking up some more color to tame this blonde down. 

Got home, downed some hydocodone and lights out. For tonight my hair will have to stay ugly.

Im gonna end this one with another lesson… Never, ever,ever try to do a corrective color on yourself when you are on hydrocodone. Just don’t.