The ugly face of pride

For those of you who have kids, you know how very important it is to do the best you can to set a good example for them.

I’ve made my share of mistakes along the way, but I like to think that overall I did the best I could with what I had.

What I’m talking about here is all those little things you portray to your kids that you don’t even realize….EVERY time they hear you cut yourself down, make a negative comment about yourself, your appearance, your whatever….you are really teaching them to do the same. when you don’t take time for yourself, passing it off as “no big deal” you are teaching them that they don’t need to do things for themselves either. When you don’t let people do things for you, you teach them they can do it ALL themselves and don’t need help. But there may come a time in their life where they actually DO need help and then what?

I speak from experience here. I’ve been taking mental notes lately…kind of finding myself I guess. I can’t even TELL you how negative I can be. Simple things like making dinner…everyone will say ” Wow, this is so good!” Instead of simply saying thank you, I will say, “Thanks, but it’s kinda blah…” Or “Thanks, but it could have been a little more this or that.”

Someone can tell me, ” Wow your hair looks great!” What do I say? NOT thank you….more like ” ugh…I hate all the grey!”  “Wow, you’ve lost weight!” “Sheesh…. Lots more to go”

It’s ridiculous really! Pride comes in many forms! I’ve learned thinking too highly of yourself is pride….but also thinking too LOWLY is pride. Think about that, Both ways you are focusing solely on YOU… and how YOU think or feel. You may be thinking to yourself, “Wait…didn’t she just say above that you needed to take time to focus on yourself?” There’s a difference. Yes, by all means take time for yourself…but have balance as with anything in your life! Do things for YOU…but don’t make it ALL about you ALL the time with your constant whining about what’s not right!

What hit me lately was me feeling guilt about spending SO much money on my teeth, knowing that I am FINALLY doing something ONLY for me. In talking to my daughter, she makes a comment to me that cut to the bone…she said “Mom, maybe if I have a daughter someday, maybe she will finally be the one to say it’s ok, I’m going to do something for me and I’m going to be okay with it….maybe the third generation of women in this family will FINALLY be okay with someone doing something for themselves!”

PRIME example…. I told my daughter DAILY to never settle…that she deserved to be treated like a queen…and she DOES! But….she did as I did….not as I said…

Thankfully, she happens to be a strong, beautiful young lady and she recognizes things much earlier on in her life than I did. If nothing else I can pray she learns from my mistakes and every generation just gets better and better! I’m not so full of pride that I can’t learn from HER either!




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