I’m a stay at home wife-shame on me or shame on you?

Interesting topic-
More and more it’s brought to my attention that it’s hard enough for society to completely accept stay at home moms, but when it comes to stay at home wives?!?!

I am a stay at home wife. I LOVE being a stay at home wife! I love that my husband loves for me to be home! That I have no pressure of not having time to make dinner, to run errands, or do anything.

What I don’t love is people who try to make you feel “less than” for your choices. I get so tired of comments like ” Ohhhh….so you don’t WORK?” Or “Hmmmm…okay…..so you just stay HOME?” Or “What do you DO all day?” Or “Ok, so you don’t have kids to raise but you just stay home, you don’t have a job?” The list goes on and on.

What I say to that is: yes, I do work. I do many things in my home that may not earn me a paycheck but are as valuable if not more valuable. Yes, I JUST STAY HOME….I have no life….I sit and wallow all day…No… What do I do all day? What the hell is it to you? If I chose to sit on my hind end all day and “eat Bon bons and watch soap operas” what difference does that make in YOUR life? So my kids are raised but I didn’t get a job? Yep… Correct! Not even entertaining that one.

It just annoys me that everyone makes your business and personal life choices theirs! Because you have chosen to participate in working outside the home don’t judge me for my choice not to.

I will not sit and justify every minute of my every day to you. I won’t tell you I am soooo busy that I never get to sit down. Truth is…. Some days I wake up at 7 am…and don’t crawl out of bed til 9- I read emails, blogs, think, pray…because I can. Some days I sit and watch Dr Phil ALL…DAY…LONG…. Because I can. Some days I run my tail off cleaning and doing errands. Because I can. Some days I visit my kids…on a Tuesday….because I can. Whether I fill my day from sun up to sundown trying to be the perfect Proverbs 31 wife or I sit on my tush and am the laziest slob in the world, it does not matter. It shouldn’t to you anyway! My bills are paid, by my husband…not you. If you were paying my bills you could have a say in my rant. But no…

I do understand not everyone is afforded the opportunity to stay at home and not work. I didn’t think I could either. But what I learned is that it cost me a whole lotta money to work. When you have kids especially! By the time you add up ALL the expenses of going to work, what are you really making? I cut corners on meals, too tired to cook after work so I spent a small fortune on takeout because it was convenient. The coffee I stopped to get EVERY day, adds up… Something I would not do if I weren’t working. Work clothes, vehicle maintenance, gas, child care, lunches out( unless you packed your own) TAXES, etc etc etc. I challenge you for one month to write down every penny you spend in a day due to work or just getting to and from work etc, anything that you spend, taxes everything. Then take your wage. What are you truly making when all is said and done?

We gave up satellite tv when I came home. Not a necessity. Didn’t have smart phones, not a necessity. I cooked different, we ate leftovers, I budgeted, we didn’t go out to eat as often,We cut things we didn’t need to be able to make it work. As time progressed we worked our way up and got back some of the non-necessities we gave up earlier.

My daughter is a stay at home wife. Newly married. Boy does she get flack too! Why?! Who’s business is it? She is taking care of her man, awaiting the start of their own family so she can be a stay at home mom.

Call us June Cleaver…I don’t know. Apologies for the rant….struck a sore spot.


Striving for perfection

Such an interesting world we live in. When did it become acceptable to always be wanting more… Better… Never be satisfied? I guess that is the true definition of “living in the world.” This is the ONE place I don’t wanna LIVE , But truly DO want to just EXIST-the world.

My entire thought process over the last few years has changed from “I’m going to start living not just existing”. And honestly I have done just that! But there are certain things that pop up in this “world” we live in that allows us to creep back into that mindset, the one I’ve worked so hard to abandone.

Some of you know that I have recently undergone a lot of dental work. My whole life is changing right before my eyes and it’s all revolving around my teeth. I’ve jumped in and started the major parts of my dental plan, which involved this past week a lot of pain, a lot of recuperating, a lot of mind games, and to be fair a lot of happiness also, because I’m finally free of my horrible teeth that have given me so much grief my entire life.

I recently read a blog from a girl that said she now has beautiful teeth, a beautiful smile, a new outlook on life. She should be happy right? She is-BUT… Now that she has gotten a vision of perfection or near perfection in her smile she is noticing other things “wrong” with her. She’s noticing wrinkles, different skin, things that shouldn’t “go with” a perfect smile. I commented to her that she is truly a beautiful person- she really is! Not just the most natural beauty on the outside but her spirit is so sweet that it makes her even more beautiful. That was very easy for me to tell her. It’s truth! She’s gorgeous! And sweet! I can’t imagine noticing a wrinkle on her face if i had to look for one!

That being said- now that I’m going through the same process- I get her! My teeth have NEVER looked so good as they do now! Never! I actually took my first selfies this past week! There is a newfound confidence I have JUST in having nice teeth! And these are only Temporary! I can’t imagine what my final results will be! But with nice new teeth comes:
I need a new hairdo
I need to lose weight
My skin IS wrinkled
I look old
I’m frumpy
The list goes on and on and on! I’ve never accepted compliments well, and I have received more compliments this week than I have in a long time. It comes back to the pride issue. Low or high self esteem is still just a focus on “self”. It’s all pride!

My goal through this whole ordeal is that i do not lose myself- that I stay true to me at all costs, and get over myself a bit along the way. To take some of my own advice I so often dish out to others! Everyone is beautiful in their own way. There is only ONE deemed “perfect” … And He died for me, on a cross.


Perfect Sunday

Today was perfect! Didn’t get out of my pjs til 2:30 pm… And only then did I change to run down the driveway to do a quick task and get back home…back into my pjs….and relax. Spent the day just hanging out with our son and his girlfriend, watching them shoot bow….chit chat, small talk, made chocolate chip cookies, and just relaxed.

When our son left to go home Mark decided he would pop into the bedroom and catch up on his 37 (count em!) 37 hunting videos he had dvr’d! I told him I would come & “watch” (💤💤💤💤) too. We all know hunting videos are just a recipe for a good nap!

Normally I hate naps-I mean I loooove to relax, but hate naps. Naps are just one way to bring out the cranky in me. If I nap it better be for the long haul til morning! But today I napped. Tomorrow I go in for dental surgery and I just really enjoyed having time to just lay around with my hubby. He’s been so busy lately and was nice we both had time at the same time!

Woke up with no plans- supper? What’s that? Chips and dip? Sure! Be a while before I can eat that again! Man am I gonna miss chips and dip! It’s my go-to comfort food! When Mark leaves town I LIVE on it! Breakfast lunch & dinner! Yes! But after tomorrow it will be pudding… Broth….yogurt… Mmmmmm…..👎

Hope you all got to enjoy a great Sunday also!