Amazing– this season of life we are in right now. I’m loving EVERY…SINGLE…MOMENT. However, I am the first to admit that I have fallen into a certain zone of being “comfortable”. Let me tell you that there is a time and a place to be “comfortable”…. And in some points of your relationship it’s a great thing….like being snuggled up together on the couch watching a movie, wrapped in a blanket, each other’s arms…. THAT… Is a great place to be comfortable. Where it’s not such a great place to be comfortable is when you start taking things for granted…where all those little special things you’ve done for each other over the years just become —ordinary.
There are two times in my life that stand out where I’ve become too comfortable. One many years ago, one very recent. I got over the one many years ago and vowed to never let it happen again. But it did and does.
Let me preface this…. I have a husband that many wish they had. Yep , I’m braggin on him right now! This is the man that got up when I had a job outside the home and drove me to work if it was snowing so I’d be safe getting there. Once we got there he made me wait in the truck while he went into my work and got a shovel and shoveled me a path to walk on so I didn’t get snowy feet. Did it stop there? No…he then ran down the road and got me my favorite coffee and a bagel and brought it back to me and sent me off with a kiss, an “I love you and have a good day”. As he would leave my co workers would say, “Where did you find him… And are there more?” I’d just smile and say “That’s just how he is”.
His nickname for me is “Beautiful” . It’s how I get my texts, emails, etc. He calls me this even when I’m in my most raggedy comfortable old clothes. Another area I’ve gotten “comfortable”. It’s much easier to let yourself go when your in baggy clothing. Which makes it much easier to not do anything about those extra few pounds you packed on. He always tells me he loves me and thinks beautiful no matter what size or shape I am, but we as women know that when we feel good about ourselves it means a lot more when our man tries to assure us. It’s easy to not put on your makeup (if you wear it) and just have down days. Let me say, everyone deserves a down day or two, and even those days my husband tells me he still thinks I’m hot. Just the other day I went to mow lawn- threw a baseball cap on with a sweatshirt and pair of jeans -no makeup-and he stood in awe…
It’s a daily choice to appreciate what is in front of you and show it or to appreciate what’s in front of you and ignore it because it’s “just how he is”.
This is why I’ve started dating my husband again. I’d say we are in the newness stage right now where it’s all fresh and exciting. I literally can’t wait to see him now, where before it was kind of like— whatever. I’ve recently lost almost 20 lbs due to lots of dental work. I did this the wrong way. Not by choice but because it’s just how it happened. I couldn’t eat so i lost weight. Now it is my goal to try to keep it off-the healthy way.
I get up in the morning and fix myself up-even if it’s only for me. The happier I can be for me the better I can be for him. I go to bed with him now, even if I’m not tired. We are polar opposite. I’m a night owl insomniac- he works very hard all day and is tired at night. I always thought I was doing him a favor by letting him go to bed earlier while I stayed up watching my “important” dvr’d shows. (The shows that will still be there in the morning when he’s at work) I never realized how important it was to him that I just went to bed with him. Not necessarily to be intimate but just BE… Snuggled up and fall asleep together.
I’ve always wished I could model myself after the proverbs 31 woman. She really is the perfect woman. I’ve come to learn I will never measure up to her…but I can take aspects of her and apply them to me. My new goal: touch of proverbs 31-touch of spice….😉 all me.
Another way we’ve gotten comfortable is eating in front of the TV. Unless the kids or company is here-then we eat at the table. We’ve recently made the decision to start eating at the table- not the TV. So much valuable conversation is had at the table. I love that we are doing this now.
It’s a sad truth that we give our best to everyone except the one(s) who deserve it. Why is it that when company comes you clean your house immaculate…bust out the “good” dishes….make that special dessert…. But for the man who you literally share every moment with you let things slide? So here is yet another example- I now put our mashed potatoes in the good pretty glass bowl-just for us….I now put the meat I cook on a nice platter-just for us… I keep the house clean-just for us. Why? Because we are what each other has right now. We are empty nesters and I want my time invested in what I know to be true right now and that is us.
It’s a very different season right now and I’m so thankful that through all our comfortableness we are still strong! For the record-it takes two-we’ve both had our faults, our strong points and our weaknesses. What makes us different is that we don’t give up!