Let me tell you about my perfect Mother’s Day & the not so perfect conversation that led up to it. I have the best kids! This day didn’t come easy though-let me explain!
Anyone who knows me knows that it is super hard to do anything nice for me. I have this huge problem of always wanting to do things for others but never let anyone do anything for me.
The kids wanted to make me dinner. So naturally I try my hardest to just tell them I will pick the things up and they don’t have to worry about it. When that didn’t work I tried making the suggestion that I just at least give some money to pay for the food. When that didn’t work I figure my next line of defense is to try to keep things as simple as I can and suggest “hamburgers and brownies”. Then due to my overthinking I realize hamburger is REALLY expensive right now, so then I tell my daughter to just get whatever the cheapest meat is.
In the midst of all these conversations my daughter is no doubt rolling her eyes and getting madder and madder with each text she receives from me. I continue.
I find out she is planning chicken. Wellllll…when I was at the store it was on sale so I just “grabbed a pack” just in case. She tells me she doesn’t need it. So I throw it in the freezer.
Before I tell you how the rest of this story goes I need to explain. My daughter is having a baby in 6 short weeks. The baby room is not completed yet and they have other projects to finish also. My son is still getting back on his feet after a shoulder surgery and a winter of no work after his place of employment closed the doors. So neither are in the perfect place to be spending money on me. We are in a better financial position than we have been in a long time and it just makes more sense to me that we take care of it.
Also let me say, in all honesty even if they were loaded I would still be the same way…I would still have a hard time letting them spend money on me. I wonder why that is-where that mentality came from…..
Well what came next kinda rocked my world. I get this big long text about what a slap in the face it is when I don’t let people do things for me. Things that *I* taught them how to do. That I taught her how to cook, how to give to people, how to do nice things for people so why won’t I let her use those parts of her heart.
It spiraled into so much more. Things like when her husband tells her she’s beautiful she half heartedly says thanks in a grumbly kind of way-In a way that tells him she doesn’t believe him. Ouch….. I taught her that! That someday she may have a daughter and when she tells her daughter she is beautiful she may say “No I’m not…you don’t think you are so I’m not either” She told me that her daughter will not only be watching her mommy but will also have her eyes on her grandma and I better get it together.
It all comes back with the fact that I should be proud of who she is and how I raised her not discouraging her. She also reminded me that she witnessed many times that we did for others and gave when money was tight and we made it out just fine. She hit me with one last …”You are robbing me of my blessing by not accepting what im trying to do for you” Oh and to just suck it up and say thank you. Haha! She’s all mine!
Well, I sucked it up (the best I could) and had to sit in the kitchen and watch my pregnant little daughter stand there and make me dinner. Make all of us dinner. It was FANTASTIC and I appreciate it so, so much! It was so hard to sit there and not help! It’s just in my nature to help-I also was not raised to just sit back and let everyone else do the work. I always got up and helped clear a table, prepare a meal or do the dishes so to take this one day and sit there was hard for me.
The food was great! It was great to have both my kids together-to have them get along! It was perfect! I love them so much! I’m so thankful! I appreciate them so much! And yes I’m even thankful that (when needed) they can help me along just as I’ve tried to do for them. You never get to be done being a parent but at some point in life your kids grow up and can help you too!